Assuming that you are unable to execute a successful dine and dash, First throw yourself at the mercy judge.
Tell him what a weak and pathetic loser you are. Impress the judge to take pity on you by convincing him that gripper is all that you have in the world and you will die without gripper.
Isn't your psychopathic best friend worth any last shred of decency that you might be clinging to?
IF that fails...
Start by explaining how gripper is an individual and has bad days just like everyone else.
Then blame the weather, clothing, radio waves, communism, background noise, fruits & vegetables or whatever else you can muster on the stand but if those fail....
Shamelessly lie in vain to save your gripper by blaming the 12 yr old victim. Remember, gripper would DIE (and kill) for you!
And when that doesn't work on the judge...
The only thing left to do is CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!
The rolodex of excuses has expanded greatly over the last 100 years.
IDjeepgurl has honed this to a fine art.
The Washington Times, February 15, 1913
Have you ever thought about writing a book , dawn? There are many places such as lulu where you ca. Publish your book for free. It would be a good way to educate people on the history of pit bull dogs.
ReplyDeleteUsing these clips from vintage newspapers would be good as well. Truth about pit bulls could be on e book and America's dog could be another.
well, thanks but i would have to rally my silent partners, first and foremost vintage who is responsible for digging up close to 90% of the news content on america's dog but also snack sized dog and rag doll. it just looks like it's all me but it's not.
ReplyDelete(thank you vintage)
You should still go forth and publish a book. There are many books on pit bulls that only tell part of the truth of their nature and history, and most of that is exxagerated.
ReplyDeleteA book based off of your vintage information would show the extremists that pit bulls were often considered vicious and beyond the dregs of society, were not that popular as pets and only pets. Most of the pit bulls I've seen in old photos that are documented show the dog was valued as a fighting dog first, and a "loyal companion" second.