Furious Fiend defeated my Hell's Demon, is a putrid, mangy, flea bitten liar and thief who steals chickens for a living.
The San Francisco Call, June 15, 1913
Showing posts with label 1913. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1913. Show all posts
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Vintage Sarcasm
Furious Fiend defeated my Hell's Demon, is a putrid, mangy, flea bitten liar and thief who steals chickens for a living.
The San Francisco Call, June 15, 1913
Sunday, January 15, 2012
If the first lie doesn't suceed, try, try and try again.
Uh-oh, gripper screwed up again. Circle the wagons.
Assuming that you are unable to execute a successful dine and dash, First throw yourself at the mercy judge.
Tell him what a weak and pathetic loser you are. Impress the judge to take pity on you by convincing him that gripper is all that you have in the world and you will die without gripper.
Isn't your psychopathic best friend worth any last shred of decency that you might be clinging to?
IF that fails...
Start by explaining how gripper is an individual and has bad days just like everyone else.
Then blame the weather, clothing, radio waves, communism, background noise, fruits & vegetables or whatever else you can muster on the stand but if those fail....
Shamelessly lie in vain to save your gripper by blaming the 12 yr old victim. Remember, gripper would DIE (and kill) for you!
And when that doesn't work on the judge...
The only thing left to do is CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!
The rolodex of excuses has expanded greatly over the last 100 years.
IDjeepgurl has honed this to a fine art.
The Washington Times, February 15, 1913
Assuming that you are unable to execute a successful dine and dash, First throw yourself at the mercy judge.
Tell him what a weak and pathetic loser you are. Impress the judge to take pity on you by convincing him that gripper is all that you have in the world and you will die without gripper.
Isn't your psychopathic best friend worth any last shred of decency that you might be clinging to?
IF that fails...
Start by explaining how gripper is an individual and has bad days just like everyone else.
Then blame the weather, clothing, radio waves, communism, background noise, fruits & vegetables or whatever else you can muster on the stand but if those fail....
Shamelessly lie in vain to save your gripper by blaming the 12 yr old victim. Remember, gripper would DIE (and kill) for you!
And when that doesn't work on the judge...
The only thing left to do is CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!
The rolodex of excuses has expanded greatly over the last 100 years.
IDjeepgurl has honed this to a fine art.
The Washington Times, February 15, 1913
Friday, January 13, 2012
vintage pit trigger: new fangled garments
Slit skirts, slit skirt
Girls, the split skirt is dangerous.
It may not be hard on the eyes of men, and may facilitate walking, but it is a mighty poor protection when a bulldog attacks you.
Mike Romain owns, or did own, a bulldog. It is a perfectly moral animal, but it couldn't stand the sight of Anna McMannagan's split skirt.
Miss McMannagan visited the Romain home wearing one of those new fangled garments. Romain's bulldog grabbed her by what the skirt failed to conceal and closed his jaws. As a result Anna was painfully hurt, and the dog is in the pound, awaiting death. Judge Sullivan administered the sentence, in spite of an eloquent plea by Romain.
"It was one of those new skirts that did it," wailed the owner of the dog. "Anna McMannagan comes to our house wearing one with a ventilator in the side. My dog ain't used to anything like that, so he makes a snap at Anna's–well, he snapped where there ought to have been some dress goods. But there wasn't any material–"
"Whaddye mean, there wasn't any material?" interrupted the judge after looking at the Anna.
"There wasn't any dress material, your honor," explained Romain. "So the dog just naturally bit her. Ordinarily he's gentle, just like a calf, judge."
"Sure, I get that 'like a calf' stuff," said the judge. "The dog will have to be shot."
But Miss McMannagan isn't going to wear her split skirt when there are dogs around.
FAIL: real world temperament test.
I guess Mike should have used some of gripper's favorite treats to familiarize him with split skirts.
The Day Book, Chicago, July 23, 1913
The Day Book, Chicago, May 22, 1912
Jeanie isn't wearing those slit skirts, slit skirt
She wouldn't dare in those slit skirts, slit skirt
Wouldn't be seen dead in no slit skirt
Pete Townsend
She wouldn't dare in those slit skirts, slit skirt
Wouldn't be seen dead in no slit skirt
Pete Townsend
Girls, the split skirt is dangerous.
It may not be hard on the eyes of men, and may facilitate walking, but it is a mighty poor protection when a bulldog attacks you.
Mike Romain owns, or did own, a bulldog. It is a perfectly moral animal, but it couldn't stand the sight of Anna McMannagan's split skirt.
Miss McMannagan visited the Romain home wearing one of those new fangled garments. Romain's bulldog grabbed her by what the skirt failed to conceal and closed his jaws. As a result Anna was painfully hurt, and the dog is in the pound, awaiting death. Judge Sullivan administered the sentence, in spite of an eloquent plea by Romain.
"It was one of those new skirts that did it," wailed the owner of the dog. "Anna McMannagan comes to our house wearing one with a ventilator in the side. My dog ain't used to anything like that, so he makes a snap at Anna's–well, he snapped where there ought to have been some dress goods. But there wasn't any material–"
"Whaddye mean, there wasn't any material?" interrupted the judge after looking at the Anna.
"There wasn't any dress material, your honor," explained Romain. "So the dog just naturally bit her. Ordinarily he's gentle, just like a calf, judge."
"Sure, I get that 'like a calf' stuff," said the judge. "The dog will have to be shot."
But Miss McMannagan isn't going to wear her split skirt when there are dogs around.
FAIL: real world temperament test.
I guess Mike should have used some of gripper's favorite treats to familiarize him with split skirts.
The Day Book, Chicago, July 23, 1913
The Day Book, Chicago, May 22, 1912
Saturday, December 10, 2011
All american dog plus the american past time equals an all american mauling
LARRY RUNS AMUCK AT BASEBALL PARK; BITES SPECTATOR
"Larry" the canine mascot of the Cleveland club, is forever barred at National Park by the oders of Manager Griffith.
The dog, a brindle and white spotted bull terrier, attacked a boy after the game yesterday, and not only bit him several times, but tore his clothes before the Cleveland players could come to the rescue.
"Larry" belongs to Lajoie, the Naps' famous second baseman, and performs a number of tricks. He was carried East with the Cleveland club on the trip just finished. A suit for damages in all probability will be instituted by the young man who was attacked.
Larry belonged to baseball slugger Napoleon Lajole who pawned the little frankenmauler off onto team mate Jack Graney. "Take him. The dog is yours." Lajoie sounds just a little too eager to unload America's Dog, wouldn't you say?
Washington Herald, June 20, 1913
Children author turned propagandist Barbara Gregorich has written a book for children about Larry the mascot. My co-blogger alerted me to the facebook page promoting the book. I left a polite, somewhat sarcastic comment asking if this attack was included in the book. I included the link. She replied, I replied, she replied, I replied and then she deleted the entire conversation which I preserved and can be viewed here. It is also important to note that she has blocked me from leaving anymore comments.
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