If the first lie doesn't suceed, try, try and try again.

Uh-oh, gripper screwed up again. Circle the wagons.

Assuming that you are unable to execute a successful dine and dash, First throw yourself at the mercy judge.

Tell him what a weak and pathetic loser you are. Impress the judge to take pity on you by convincing him that gripper is all that you have in the world and you will die without gripper.



Isn't your psychopathic best friend worth any last shred of decency that you might be clinging to?



IF that fails...

Start by explaining how gripper is an individual and has bad days just like everyone else.

Then blame the weather, clothing, radio waves, communism, background noise, fruits & vegetables or whatever else you can muster on the stand but if those fail....

Shamelessly lie in vain to save your gripper by blaming the 12 yr old victim. Remember, gripper would DIE (and kill) for you!

And when that doesn't work on the judge...



The only thing left to do is CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!

The rolodex of excuses has expanded greatly over the last 100 years.
IDjeepgurl has honed this to a fine art.

The Washington Times, February 15, 1913

vintage pit trigger: new fangled garments

Slit skirts, slit skirt

Jeanie isn't wearing those slit skirts, slit skirt
She wouldn't dare in those slit skirts, slit skirt
Wouldn't be seen dead in no slit skirt
Pete Townsend

Girls, the split skirt is dangerous.

It may not be hard on the eyes of men, and may facilitate walking, but it is a mighty poor protection when a bulldog attacks you.

Mike Romain owns, or did own, a bulldog. It is a perfectly moral animal, but it couldn't stand the sight of Anna McMannagan's split skirt.

Miss McMannagan visited the Romain home wearing one of those new fangled garments. Romain's bulldog grabbed her by what the skirt failed to conceal and closed his jaws. As a result Anna was painfully hurt, and the dog is in the pound, awaiting death. Judge Sullivan administered the sentence, in spite of an eloquent plea by Romain.

"It was one of those new skirts that did it," wailed the owner of the dog. "Anna McMannagan comes to our house wearing one with a ventilator in the side. My dog ain't used to anything like that, so he makes a snap at Anna's–well, he snapped where there ought to have been some dress goods. But there wasn't any material–"

"Whaddye mean, there wasn't any material?" interrupted the judge after looking at the Anna.

"There wasn't any dress material, your honor," explained Romain. "So the dog just naturally bit her. Ordinarily he's gentle, just like a calf, judge."

"Sure, I get that 'like a calf' stuff," said the judge. "The dog will have to be shot."

But Miss McMannagan isn't going to wear her split skirt when there are dogs around.

FAIL: real world temperament test.
I guess Mike should have used some of gripper's favorite treats to familiarize him with split skirts.

The Day Book, Chicago, July 23, 1913




The Day Book, Chicago, May 22, 1912

Charles Werner: the godfather of pit nutters

CHARLES WERNER

There is an excellent blog post at dogsbite.org about this early 20th century pit bull breeder and his attempts to bring America's pit fighter into mainstream society. Contemporary pit bull advocates should take notes and learn from the master.

you can't make this up!

Narcissistic nutters. Predictably irritating in any century.

Edgefield Advertiser, November 6, 1912




Hot shot lion tamer bitten by pit bull. LOL!!

The San Francisco Call, March 1, 1900