Uh-oh, gripper screwed up again. Circle the wagons.
Assuming that you are unable to execute a successful dine and dash, First throw yourself at the mercy judge.
Tell him what a weak and pathetic loser you are. Impress the judge to take pity on you by convincing him that gripper is all that you have in the world and you will die without gripper.
Isn't your psychopathic best friend worth any last shred of decency that you might be clinging to?
IF that fails...
Start by explaining how gripper is an individual and has bad days just like everyone else.
Then blame the weather, clothing, radio waves, communism, background noise, fruits & vegetables or whatever else you can muster on the stand but if those fail....
Shamelessly lie in vain to save your gripper by blaming the 12 yr old victim. Remember, gripper would DIE (and kill) for you!
And when that doesn't work on the judge...
The only thing left to do is CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!
The rolodex of excuses has expanded greatly over the last 100 years.
IDjeepgurl has honed this to a fine art.
The Washington Times, February 15, 1913